I am “guilty as charged” for some of what I accuse others of in this blog. I am trying to learn, to be more compassionate, and to be a better person. I think my first word as a baby was “Why” and I haven’t stopped asking yet. I would like to be given room to grow on these issues and not be ridiculed as I was recently by a famous GLBTQ activist, whose name I will not mention, wrote to me, “Way to argue, Phyllis Schlafly.”
I have to laugh when Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning (GLBTQ) people and supporters claim that contrary to what some on the “far right” claim, there is NO gay agenda. It is not a “ha-ha” that’s a funny laugh, but a sad chuckle. There IS a gay agenda; I know, because I’ve been a victim of it. It has nothing to do with the “gay agenda” put forth by the “far right,” however.
Part of the gay agenda is to ridicule those that you as a GLBTQ person think are also a GLBTQ person, but the latter person has not acknowledged it. Why, that person is OBVIOUSLY in denial! That person is taking advantage of his/her “straight” privilege, blah, blah, blah. I read this nonsense in gay publications all the time, and on the websites of people who, if asked, would claim they are all about advancing GLBTQ causes (it must be true because they are collecting money to do so).
I had this happen to me while still a teenager. While visiting a teacher over college break, the teacher asked me about a concert coming up locally (I think it was Holly Near). When I had absolutely no clue who the teacher was talking about, I was suddenly a traitor to all lesbians everywhere. Fact is, I had no clue at the time I was a lesbian. (It seems I was the last to know, but that’s a subject for another blog.)
When I first came out back in the late 1980s and early 1990s, part of the lesbian (who insisted on being called womyn, because that other word has “men” in it) agenda included hating men, not wanting male children, and much male bashing. Many women felt excluded from the “gay movement” and experienced the double discrimination of being female and a sexual minority.
I belonged to a “lesbian mom and mom-to-be” group where 75% of the women did not want to adopt or have a male child. As someone who was then co-parenting a 14 year old boy, this was a bit troubling. I had heard of separatists like this before; I was familiar with events such as the annual Michigan Womyn’s Festival (MichFest) where only women born women were allowed. (At the time, the festival would not allow boys older than a few years old. I believe boys are now allowed up to age 10, but must remain segregated with their families from the ‘womyn-only’ space.)
Part of the gay agenda is that if you are part of the GLBTQ community, you must hold the same thoughts as all of those who hold the GLBTQ power and voices. You must belittle Log Cabin Republicans and other gay Republicans, an action I am not proud to say I have participated in. You must be a Democrat. You must support the Human Rights Campaign (I gave up on them when they wanted me to protest the appointment of Justice John Roberts; I think I may have been right on that one). The more anti-religion you are, the better (although this is changing). You must be pro-choice. You must be anti-guns. You must accept everything about anyone regarding sexuality. It used to be you had to be anti-marriage, but that also has changed. (Although there are more than a few GLBTQ people who find it ridiculous to want to be part of such a heterosexual ritual.)
The fact is, I am just not “there” yet on the B and T parts. I understand the T more than the B, actually. Does this make me a horrible person? Well, you would sure think so if you heard and read some of the crap I hear and read. There is a huge controversy right now about the Indigo Girls because they are playing the MichFest this year despite the transgender exclusion policy. They said they will not play after this year if the policy does not change. (The great irony is, I had to give my lesbian toaster back because I don’t like the Indigo Girls’ music. You see, part of the agenda is you must like all GLBTQ writers, artists, actors, performers, etc. How dare you not support “your own”?)
Someone on Facebook posted that they agree with the MichFest policy because many women have been hurt by men and do not feel comfortable around women who were not born women. I happen to agree with this. Does this make me wrong? Perhaps, but it is how I currently feel. I also don’t feel comfortable at seemingly women only events when there’s a 6’5” woman there with a penis. I’m ignorant, I know. I know gender is not just about body parts; my mother does not have breasts after having a double mastectomy but I certainly consider her a woman.
For people that want understanding, we sure do like to disparage our own. That’s part of the REAL gay agenda.